The Blonde leading the Blind...
While I'm still recovering from the server problem that ate all the pictures from this blog I thought I'd share something that happened in church this morning.
Willard (not his real name) is an exceptional guitar player, has a great sense of humor and is blind from a very young age. Willard is probably around 24-25 and the first time I met him I went over to his house and he had one of his computers in 20 or so pieces and was in the process of putting it back together. As Yoda would say it "Impressed I Was".
Sophie (not her real name) is exceptional as well I'm sure, I just can't tell you at what. Sophie is off to college this fall and is blonde, dirty blonde. (I don't like that expression either but can't think of a better one, email me if you can).
Let me set the scene. The band had just finished and were coming off the platform. Willard naturally needs to be lead down the stairs and to the back of the auditorium. The task fell to Sophie. Now our church like many modern churches is constructed like this.....
with the support columns jutting in decoratively into the floor space.
I usually sit on the far left side (aisle) about halfway up, today was no exception. I look up and watch Sophie leading Willard down the left aisle. Hmmm I think to myself he's going to bump into the.... Sophie oblivious to the impending collision (and honestly I'm not sure she remembered Willard was at her elbow) continues to walk just sufficiently inches away from the column. Willard had a hand on each elbow and was walking much closer to the wall then Sophie. I couldn't watch and turned my head away, I found out later that my wife closed her eyes too. So whether he walked into the column or not I can't say. But I learned that if I am ever sightless I will ask the hair color of my assistant.
ba
So Seriously.....
A server glitch ate my blog. All of the pictures are gone.... GONE !!!
I'm endeavouring to learn from the experience and am somewhat downheartened by it. Give me a day or two or three and I'll start again. If any of you saved any of the images to your hard drives can you email them to me ? I'd like to recreate as much as I can.
thanks
ba
ummm okay
(sorry for the horrible photoshop job)
A nearby church (okay the one I attend) has a new twist on how to get highschoolers interested in attending a Bible study. It's billed as Pool Side Bible Study but seems to me like the apparent intent is Bikini Bible Study. I say apparent since I've never been and only talked to 3 teens who have. So, yes, this is hearsay and hopefully not heresy. I'm not sure what book of the Bible they're studying but I'm guessing it's not the Song of Solomon. For example;
Song of Solomon 7
1 How beautiful are your sandaled feet, O queenly maiden. Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a skilled craftsman. 2 Your navel is as delicious as a goblet filled with wine. Your belly is lovely, like a heap of wheat set about with lilies. 3 Your breasts are......
Well you get the idea. Though maybe they are studying Song of Solomon and they’re using some visual teaching aids. I dunno again this is hearsay and most importantly humor.
On another note ba and mrs ba are celebrating their 21st year of acrimony , I mean matrimony.
ba
UPDATE 7/26/04 Here's a screen capture of an email from the youth pastor that kinda removes any doubt.
A whole new meaning to OUThouse !!
Question OneWhy does the lady in the left picture below look uncomfortable ?
Is it because she's gotta go ?
Is it because she's entering a one way mirrored toilet plunked down on Main St in some Scandinavian country ?
Question TwoWhy does this even exist?
Security reasons ? No need for a lightbulb ie; electricity ? A social experiment thought up at some higher learning institute ?
If you find out let ba know.
ba
A letter from Louisiana to John Kerry
I don't often share political satire with people via email and that same sentiment would apply to this space but I liked this one I got from my Massachusetts brother. Kerry/Edwards supporters I'm sorry. Send me something clever about Bush and I'll consider posting it.
baDear Senator Kerry
I am the Designated Letter Writer for the guys down to Daryl's Bait Shop here in Lagniappe, Louisiana. We have been shaking our heads over your stumbling campaign. It ain't so much we like you, but you are a fellow Democrat and an American, born in the U S of A, so we don't want you to disgrace yourself.
Here are 10 helpful hints we have worked up for you. (There's more if you want them. Let us know.)
1 We know you served in Nam and got a band-aid or two. You'd do yourself a favor if you didn't keep mentioning it every time someone pokes a microphone in your face. Geez, it was 35 years ago and you did that for, what was it, four months? Some of us Daryl's Bait Shop guys spent more time than that on chow lines.
2 Get your stories straight. Admit you threw your or someone's medals and/or ribbons over the Capitol fence in '71, and you went touring around with Jane Fonda, and you testified falsely to atrocities by US troops. You ought to say that was all a youthful mistake. We've made a few. We'll understand.
3 It's OK, you can talk French to French reporters if you want to, we don't mind. Smilin' Jack Boudreau can speak French, and we elected him Chief of the Lagniappe Volunteer Fire Company. We're not bigots. We call 'em as we see 'em, make up our minds.
4 Sen. Kerry, why aren't you touting your good luck in snaggin, not one, but two, rich wives? Here at Daryl's we often wonder what it would be like to have a really rich wife. We speculate just how big a bass boat we could buy, along with one of those new Dodge Hemi trucks to pull it to the crick. You don't have to cook that ketchup, do you? Come on, show the world how lucky you are. We here in the South respect achievement and don't begrudge someone's good fortune even if he is a politician.
5 Me and Boudreau wonder why you aren't going to the wrasslin matches to get votes? We've seen videotape of you on the ski slopes. You got some good moves, looks like you already know how to take a fall. All us here (except Freddie Dobbs and Herm Harrison) are great fans of wrasslin. Not that we'd vote for you just because you was one. Armen Yazoo is a wrasslin maniac, but none of us would vote for him even if he was running only for dogcatcher. So you got to tread easy on showing you're Joe Sixpack who just happened to go to Swiss prep school
and St.Paul's School and Yale College, Skull & Bones. We'd see through that pose in about a minute and a half and mark you for a hypocritical windbag and general liar. You needn't go to the trouble of hanging a black velvet Elvis oil painting in any of your living rooms. Weren't none of us recently fell off a turnip truck.
6 Tell us something you're for. We already know what you're against.
7 We ain't all that impressed with the UN and we don't know why you keep bowing in its direction, promising you will go there first thing if you are elected President of this country. Is there anything the UN has ever done right? Didn't they make a royal mess of that Iraq oil-for-food program, millions skimmed off just happened to land in their personal bank accounts? Seems to us they spend around 98 percent of their time passing resolutions that don't add up to a hill of beans.
8 If you're for lower gasoline prices in the morning, don't be proposing a 50 cents a gallon tax boost on gasoline in the afternoon. Saying one thing in Shreveport and the opposite in Baton Rouge don't inspire us with confidence with you as President. Maybe you should stay in the Senate where you got 99 other guys to share the responsibility with.
9 We got indoor privies, color TV, cell phones, and computers. Give us some credit for brains and understanding. We know economic conditions aren't so bad and are getting better. Your telling us we're miserable, deluded fools just won't fly. And it gives us the eerie feeling that you're hoping for a relapse into recession to help your election chances.
10 You've beaten all your Democratic opponents in all the primaries and caucuses held so far. Yet you seem out of touch with the party and with America. Maybe you've been a politician too long, been campaigning too long and you need a break before the Convention. We all think the best thing you can do is haul out your Harley, put TeRAYza on the pillion and take off to South Dakota for the Sturgis Bike Rally. Meet the folks. A few of us from Daryl's will be there. You don't have to get tattooed.
Sincerely,
Cooter
(with the considerable assistance of J. Boudreau and B. Bass)
Spiffy Stuff
Every once in awhile an item crosses in front of my eyes that fascinates me. The other day I was cleaning up my shop/office and found a unique CD holder. I suspect it was a promo item made exclusively for the company. I've searched in vain to purchase them but I've not found them. My guess is they were too expensive to compete in the holder marketplace.
See how nicely it is protected until needed ?
Click Here for a QuickTime movie showing the holder in action.
Spiffy huh ? If anybody ever finds them for sale please click the "If you really need to give me feedback - Clicketh Here" link to the right and let me know where.
7/12/04 UPDATE - Click Hereba
Can you understand me now?
Had a fun time at the Verizon store the other day. My coily cord for my cell phone lost one of its teeth and wouldn't lock in properly and it took some explaining to Amy but she replaced it, but hey that's not the subject of this entry. Being an extrovert can be hard on other people. Especially in public places.....
While standing in the Technical Support line and enjoying being next (you remember) in the queue I observed a nicely appointed 50ish women walk in through the door. She approached me and said, "She (pointing to Amy) told me if I had a white piece of paper I could go right to the front." I turned and looked at the women and offered, "ma'am I can tell by the jewelry you're wearing that even without a white piece of paper you should go first. I'm honored to be the one that you are cutting in front of." She either didn't get it or didn't care that I was mocking her. Not willing to allow my mocking to be ignored I ramped up the repartee. I turned to a 40ish man behind me and asked him if he had a white piece of paper. He kind of sheepishly held up his hand displaying his ticket to "get in front of balaams_ass". I motioned with both hands using an ushering technique I perfected while dating and said, "it's a darn good thing you have the paper because you clearly aren't wearing enough jewelry, I mean your watch looks like its a $40 Timex." Behind him was a young woman. She to had the coveted white piece of paper and I motioned to her to join the ranks of the elite and take her place in front of me. She deferred, I tried to insist but sensed she was uncomfortable so I let it go.
The original women was finally picking up on my mockage and turned around and smiled a broad smile and said again that Amy had told her to go to the front. I offered that "jeesh I hope no more people with white pieces of paper show up or I'm never gonna get out of here." I frantically started to pull any paper out of my pockets muttering loudly that I really hope I find a white one. I turned to the man who was behind me and was now in front and loudly offered him $10 for his white piece of paper. He just smiled nervously. I bemoaned "my kingdom for a white piece of paper."
Freedom came for the victim of my mockage as the original girl that was in front me left and the jewelry lady handed in her white piece of paper and left with her phone.
You people should fear us extroverts in public places, do not annoy.
ba
