balaams_ass blog

All Politics Aside

These are funny. I don't know the source sorry......



This is true....



Whatever, whomever make sure you VOTE !

ba

posted by balaams_ass @ 2:44 PM 0 comments links to this post  

Sometimes my email cracks me up

Seriously sometimes I just laugh. It's been a busy week again and I missed my self imposed deadline for posting. I could change the post date and pretend it is friday but I won't. I also won't go to the UN and talk with every member of the security council either.

Below is another example of what makes me laugh at my email sometimes.



Streaming with sweat, waiters....... How could you read the subject and not open the message? Who doesn't want to know what sweaty waiters are doing? I'm old enough to know that some folks are errrr ummmm ahhh strangely interested in different things but sweaty waiters? I mean I was fascinated by sea salt when it was put on resturant tables and now they have the grind it fresh (does salt go bad ? I thought it was a preservative) bottles at Carrabas. Maybe this the newest way to add a little flavor to your food. Waiter sweat. I can see the next oneupsmanship (one ups man ship). Sitting in a posh Madhattan eatery a distinguished gentleman raises his hand and asks "Do you have any Irish Waiter sweat?"

ba

posted by balaams_ass @ 7:15 AM 0 comments links to this post  

Foreshadowing ?

As a very amateur thespian I understand some theater terminology. Like forshadowing. Here is an example of foreshadowing in another way.



A coffin shaped cigarette holder. Oh sure I know we're all going to die but really ?

ba

posted by balaams_ass @ 4:50 PM 0 comments links to this post  

vrrrmmm beep beep beep

I love the late summer early fall. It is perfect walking weather ! Since walking takes little concentration it is a way to relax and observe life. A few days ago I was walking through a nearby park that has "return to the wild" section where, among the many day to day waterfowl, you can often spot a Blue Heron standing on one leg looking quite weathervainish. This particular day I lay down on the seat of a bench and stared up into a tree to watch the leaves, which were just starting to turn, rustle in the slight breeze. I caught a glimpse of a woodpecker and watched as he (okay, maybe a she) methodically covered every branch looking for a feast of bugs. Speaking of woodpeckers I have a niece who when she was little loved that cartoon show about the woodpecker. Much to her mothers chagrin whenever she said the name she always put the emphasis on the wrong syllable. Woody wood PECKER she would say. We all know why it sounds funny but go ahead say it and see if it doesn't make you at least smile.

I was meandering near the business section of the University and came upon this scene.



My first thought as the 13 year old inside me stirred was "can I drive?" Remind me to tell you about how behaving like a 13 year old in a hot tub can get you in trouble. My second thought was why is there not a PC game where I can do this virtually? I mean how hard could it be? I know there was one for little kids awhile back but I'm thinking on a grander scale. Maybe take a picture of your house and import it into the game and then destroy it by driving through it with a caged bulldozer. Maybe the physics modeling engine would be too complicated.

I also stopped and wondered that sometimes I feel like the machine. Roaring and ripping apart whatever gets in my way. Sometimes I feel like the house. And sometimes not very often but occasionally I feel like the pile of rubble.

ba

posted by balaams_ass @ 8:08 AM 0 comments links to this post  

BLAH'G

Been a busy week again. Not so much from work but due to the fact I offered to direct a Christmas musical of sorts at church and they actually agreed to let me. The auditions were last weekend and callbacks are mostly done and we're working on casting and notifying. It's hard calling little kids and saying "sorry not this time." But I am so looking forward to working with kids again in a theater setting.....

A couple of things have struck me funny this week.

I'm driving to work this morning and I hear Donald Trump's "The Real Deal" radio blurb. Now I'm not at all interested in The Apprentice, Donald or Ivana or really anything Trump related but I'm listening to Don doing the advertising blurb before edifying us with his wisdom on whether Dan Rather should hear the words YOUR FIRED and I realize he's telling me that he depends on CarFax so he doesn't have to "pull his hair out" when buying a used car. How many used Hyundai's has he bought lately ? Credibility factor below zero.

Like every church I've been in our church has an all purpose room. For awhile it was used as overflow for the Sunday services. In an effort to raise the band that provided the music some risers were built. 12 inches high, 4 foot by 8 foot the 4 of them were designed and constructed to hold the average 3 person praise band that they must have thought weighed cummulatively 7 tons. These monsters originally had a solid web of plywood re-inforcement that made them too heavy to move. This plywood was hollowed out to be a web like rather then solid in an effort to make them lighter while preserving their strength. Wheels were put on on side so they could be rolled. Apparently who (or is it whom) ever put them away thought the wheels were decorative only.



ba

posted by balaams_ass @ 7:51 AM 0 comments links to this post