Buy a Parrot

One Christmas many years ago Libby bought me a plastic talking parrot. I’ve always loved birds and any animal that can talk intrigues me. So Libby being aware of my aviary affection decided to buy me an electronic talking bird. You see we’ve either lived in Central New York (Parrots need a warm humid environment) or we’ve never had the spare $1500 to drop on a African Grey let alone the $800 for the 1/2 inch steel cage they live in. Hmm… now that I’m thinking about it why are those cages so strong? If I had ever gotten a talking bird though, I’d have taught it all kinds of great things to say. Like the line from Monty Python’s famous Dead Parrot Sketch, “No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’!” …complete with British accent or maybe teach it to say “don’t take another step or I’ll jump”, or “mmmm chinese food where’s lucky ?”. Where was I ? Oh yes, Plastic Parrots. This particular feathered and plastic parrot, if turned on, would mimic back whatever it heard. The box said “Pete the Repeating Parrot” and it was fun for a couple of hours that Christmas morning and then occasionally whenever one of the kids would turn it on when no one was looking.

Laughter is essential to a healthy marriage. Being able to laugh at your self is a bonus. Why is it that sometimes we make things so serious when they just don’t need to be? See how you answer these questions….

    Is it okay to ball up Christmas wrapping paper and tossing it at your mother in-law when she’s not looking ?
    How about driving thru Burger King backwards just for fun and making your wife order ?
    Is performing a drum roll on the little credit slip signing ledge at P&C while the credit card machine determines your approval and subsequent fist in the air yelling “HooYeah” as it displays “APPROVED” that embarrassing ?

Only if someone decides it is and gets upset. Otherwise it’s just stupid fun! Laughing and seeing the fun in life is like adding brown sugar to oatmeal instead of white sugar… it’s a little more special… It’s the hot fudge on ice cream. Laughter in a marriage is the negligee on the floor next to the bed. It isn’t required but it sure makes it more fun sometimes.

Libby and I, like most couples, have had our share of heated discussions. The disagreements over money, disciplining the kids, necessary cordless drill or labeler purchases, boxers or briefs. Normal stuff. If you’re like me you find after so many years of yammering at each other about the same things you get to the point where listening becomes far less important since you are already plotting your reply. Then it happens my midfight daydreaming is interrupted when I hear this. “tell me what I just said” This is the question that makes me fear ever appearing on Dr. Phil. Remember these pithy proverbs ?

    • You don’t need to send out a press release to ignore her completely.
    • You don’t need stain-resistant pants to make a delicious fondue.
    • You don’t need a wing and a prayer to pop a blister.

Nightmare material….. Anyway one day we began to argue over something that was so extremely important, of course two days later neither of us would have any memory of what it was. As I walked through the living room with Libby following me she bombastically retorted “fine walk away“. A mere second later Pete flapped his wings on top of the piano and squawked “FINE WALK AWAY.” We both turned to look at Pete, looked at each other, looked at Pete… and burst out laughing. Like a group of 13 year old boys putting out a campfire with… well any way our anger was extinguished. If humor offers and exit to anger – take it.

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