Freakin Winkers ;)
Didn't think I be back so soon but I got to thinking........I hate winkers.
Mostly I hate them because I can't wink….. Not with either eye…. Most people can get one eye to wink, not me. When I was a kid I used to practice in front of a mirror but all that served to do was confuse the right side of my brain about what the left side face was supposed to be doing. Or was it the left side of my brain about the right side of my face ? Well either way…. You see when I wink my whole face scrunches up, even my ears move and for some stupid reason, like it’s going to help, I tilt my head…. I end up looking like a perfect example of what you’d see if you took the face of a baby happily filling it’s diaper (oh don’t try to tell me they’re not happy) and put it on one of those Sharpe’ puppies, you know the wrinkle dogs. One that has heard a strange noise. You know what I mean; we've all seen wink challenged people.
But I somewhat hate winkers because I never know what the wink means. What its purpose is ? Having been married for awhile I know and am quick to respond to what the "wink and a nod" means but a simple quick wink, I’m clueless. I have three or four peers (friends, co-workers, fellow thespians, etc...) that wink at me with some regularity. In casual conversation - I get the wink. Walking by them in the hall or office - I get the wink. Sitting across a table having lunch or a meeting - I get the wink. I mean what the HE double hockey sticks is wrong with people ? I sometimes, just sometimes, manage to return a smile but more often my ignorance about the origin of the wink leaves me weak, impotent. Unable to respond in kind I shuffle off with my head down cursing my mental or physical limitation, family genes or whatever has left me winkless.
For awhile when I got a wink from one of these people I was content to believe that it was a sty, a dirty contact or something in their eye. Or maybe it was a misplaced memory of some long ago angst that was causing some external manifestation. But the frequency and regularity, the determination in their eye (the one that stays open) makes me wonder about other motives.
So I curse the winkers....... both for their physical ability and mental powers.
ba
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