balaams_ass blog

NOW !

I'm a PC gamer. Specifically military or "reality" based FPS (first person shooter)games. I have 7 PC's on a network in my house and Tuesday nights are LAN party nights. If you ever played ARMY as kid you understand. Some friends come over and we play mostly;

Battlefield Vietnam
Battlefield 1942
Medal of Honor
Halo

Playing these games leads me to walk into EB Games once in awhile to see what new game I can spend my hard earned money on. So the other day....

As I drive into the parking lot and I notice that an attractive women, maybe 35, is holding the door open to EB Games. How nice I think. I eat at Outback a lot and if you've ever eaten there you know that often they open the door as you walk in and say "Welcome to Outback, Good Day Mate" or something similar. I thought maybe EB Games had taken a clue and was now welcoming me to their store. I parked, got out of my car and wandered over to the door. This nice lady continued to stand there, holding the door open. I walked by but didn't hear "Welcome to EB Games" or anything like that. Instead she says very bruskly, "Let's go". I'm thinking I just got here but ok, so I stopped and started to turn around to leave saying "ok mom". She glanced at me with a look of despair and from the corner of my eye I noticed a 9 year old boy playing one of the console game demo's located 15' inside the store. Oh I get it. I turned back and continued into the store. This time with a voice of sheer hopelessness and frustration. "Brian, we need to leave lets go!" Brian didn't look up, didn't acknowledge mom, Brian kept right on playing.

BRRRRUUUPPPPP BA BA <-trumpet fanfare


I notice that the store is empty except for the clerks who are all the way in the back. I walk up to Brian and in my most stern father voice I say "Brian, your mother wants to leave!". Brian looks up briefly at me and then goes back to the game. Wow, this kid is good. I screwup the meanest look on my face I can muster and loudly proclaim, "NOW!". Nothing, no response. Not even a twitch. For a brief moment I thought about going and standing by the door with his mom, defeated and keep her company why she waited. But I'm not that easily defeated so I reach over and push the power switch on the TV. Brian looks up at me with the most incredulous look on his chubby little face. He reaches over to turn the TV back on but I'm to fast and my hand blocks the switch. HA HA HA HA I laugh evilly. Brian tosses the controller up on the counter in defeat and walks out of the store. I sigh a victors sigh and after making sure Brian was safely inside the family SUV I continue in the store and begin my meandering.

This post is mostly true. The lady was standing in the doorway the whole time. I did speak fatherly and growl at the kid and I did turn off the TV.

ba

posted by balaams_ass @ 7:37 AM