balaams_ass blog

Horrorday Inn

Been a busy last few weeks. The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays for obvious reasons. Stuff explodes in the air. I love fireworks, explosions and flashing lights. It's a good thing I live in a state where the backwoods no good politicans have denied the public their God given right to lose a finger or hand to an explosion otherwise I'd be in FFF*.

Went to a wedding in Rochester, NY. Nice wedding, great reception at the Casa Larga. The Holiday Inn however was a Horror Day Inn. First we find out after we got there it was under massive renovations. Dust was everywhere. The sink leaked, there was an extra mint in the blankets under the bedspread (wrapped at least) and the phones weree hung up upside down for some reason I couldn't fathom. This particular Holiday Inn is called a HoliDome because it has a huge glass side that acts as an atrium to the inside rooms. Here is a picture of what I mean. This meant that if you wanted any natural light in the room you had to open your curtains in the windows, windows that every one walked by to get to their room. Are you staying with me here ? There are walkways right outside what are essentially solid glass walls in all these rooms. Didn't anyone think of the children? All it would take is for some newly weds (or Mr. & Mrs. Ass cause we ain't dead yet) to get caught up in moment of amore' and forget to close the curtains.

Truly though the most annoying thing was the cover for the A/C - Heat controls. They say a picture paints a thousand words ? Here's how I left the cover. (remember clicking on a picture may make it bigger)
I borrowed a suit coat (yeah I own one but it is a woolen suit and it's been really hot this summer) from a friend who is the music pastor at our church and for obvious reasons I don't want to mention his name. It was a nice coat but since he's taller the steves oops... I mean sleeves were a little long. The odd thing was the outer pockets were sewn closed ? No really sewn closed. You could drop a quarter in the one end but nothing of consequence was going in those pockets. Here's a picture.

I ax'd a couple of people why this might be and the only slightly, almost, maybe plausible idea or explanation was to make sure the wearer didn't put his hands in the pockets as this is considered goshe (spelling?) and un-refined by Emily Post. I dunno maybe. I'm just hoping it isn't cause he's a closet kleptomaniac. Think about it - pockets sewn shut as a training device. Force the wearer to walk through a Dollar $tore (the one's with the fake video cameras) with a coat with sewn pockets. bwaa ha ha ha....

ba

* Freedom From Fireworks - if your lucky you get a sponsor with all 10 digits.....

posted by balaams_ass @ 1:24 PM