balaams_ass blog

OCC Gone Bad

Was wandering around Sam’s Club the other day and spotted this bicycle.

I thought wow what a bike. Here’s a bike that’s clearly targeted toward the 9-15 year old boys. Look at the size of the rear tire, look at the extended front fork so designed to make the words “turning radius” oxymoronic. Every young man whilst gazing at this bike pictures a V twin, two cylinder motor roaring to life underneath the crossbar*. Everyone one of them after riding it for two minutes will be cursing and wishing there was a V Twin, two cylinder motor roaring to anything underneath the crossbar*. I picked it up. It’s freakin heavy. I’d guess 45 pounds heavy. It's the re-invention of the bike of my youth - the STINGRAY.

I remember having a StingRay style bike when I was a kid and watching in awe as Chris Robinson rode a wheelie across the Harrison School playground. Being a little stout (5'4" and 190 pounds) I could pull up the front tire for a good 3 to 4 seconds. Of course dropping it back down ran a fifty/fifty chance of popping the tire as well.

This bike would be the first chapter in my book titled “Weight Loss for Post-Pubecent Dummies”. Seriously I enjoy the banter between the Paul's, Mikey and Vinny but the Orange County Chopper craze has gone far enough !

ba

* - what’s up with that old crossbar being standard equipment on boys’ bikes. Seems to me neither gender would welcome a sudden trip where their Netherlands ended up there ? Go figure……

posted by balaams_ass @ 2:21 PM