Problematic Prophesy
Yes, once again. It seems I can't leave Best Buy without coming upon this scene and each time I do I'm reminded of a particular gift I have, no, a curse actually.It all started many years ago when public schools were the testing grounds for many types of standardized testing. I was given a test from a battery of exams called Iowa's (so named for the wonderful college they were born out of) and one particular section of the test was called Maps and Diagrams and it involved lots of very nice pictures and questions like;
If Gear A turns clockwise which way will Gear F turn ? Sorta like this but more complicated.
There were other questions about the pretty triangles, circles and squares with various of shapes inside and we had to determine which on came next in the sequence. (Google let me down after a massive search for an example) There were coordinate questions like finding a city using grid lines on a map. All kinds of great stuff that I found very easy being a very visually stimulated mid-pubescent young man. So.... While the other children slowly banged their heads on their desks or went screaming out of the room I calmly calculated the answers and scored in the top 1/300th percentile in the country. Hmmm in retrospect, I'm pretty sure my guidance counselor said country not county. Anyway I figured this was a huge deal because I actually got called out of class, Miss Stavish's class, just to be told this. Miss Stavish was the one teacher that almost every school has who was so beautiful that rumors ran rampant that she gave up a career as a Playboy Bunny to come and teach us social studies... or was it english ? no.. wait math? Okay so I don't really remember learning much in her class* but I do remember walking back to class and thinking "dang it, did I miss anything?" Meaning of course a dropped eraser, reaching up to latch those really tall wooden windows or maybe a test being returned with that all wonderful personal review that happened at our desks?The realization of the curse aspect of my gift came upon me slowly as it took me some time to learn that 99.7% percent of the population being spatialy challenged will attempt to fit a boxed 32" TV in the rear seat of a Volkswagon Beatle. However, since I'm spatial I know better. I know now your thinking I road the spatial bus to school. The curse ? Well it seems likely that I missed an important lesson early in life (possibly in Miss Stavish's class) and have only figured out in my later years. Males who have this spatial relations gift don't tell other males that don't have the gift when they stupidly are attempting to put a 32" TV in a VW Bug. You also don't apparently tell other guys that the waterbed headboard simply won't go up the stairs and make the turn. You also don't tell other guys that the couch is too long to for the wall if they want to put the end table next to it. Neither do you tell guys (this one particularly if their wife is around) that the tree will fall in a particular direction (not the one their thinking) and it will reach the brand new octagon shaped picnic table and will reduce it to kindling. Prophecy regarding space, angles, directions and size is best kept to yourself.
ba
* - see previous note about visual stimulation
3 Comments:
Though I did try to fit my 27" TV into my Honda Civic at the time (coming out of Best Buy) I was smart enough to admit defeat and take it out of the box and fit it in and secure it. That is all.
No one more spatial than you, jon.
Then there was the time when you were "ordered" to go below and check the chart for water depth right off the beach at Sandy Hook.
"go ahead, Dad,plenty of water!"
Too little "space" under the keel. In fact not enuf space under the keel. CRUNCH!!!
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